Non-fiction short story The Nine Moods of a Magnificent Manager Essay

Non-fiction short story The Nine Moods of a Magnificent Manager - Essay Example The management consultant argues thus: â€Å"The subject of management is an overcrowded field. I quote Voltaire (1694-1778) who says that the magnitude of books is making us ignorant. â€Å"The major branches of management are financial management, marketing management, human resource management, strategic management, production management, operations management, service management and information technology management. The problem with the present managerial world is there are more books on management topics than the numerical strength of managers all over the world. Is it possible for a management trainee to study all of them and then become a successful manager? The relationship between success and management is like the one between wife and husband who desire to lead a harmonious life but are unable to do so but would not like to divorce either. Management is all about the ability of a Manager to rob the pocket of a gullible commoner/consumer or of another Manager in a competi ng organization! You all have made hefty payments to attend this one day’s seminar. You have done so with a hope. I congratulate you on your dynamism and your desperate desire to become magnificent managers. By the end of the session, I am sure you will become one and will have no inclination to return to this auditorium yet again. With this training, if you are unable to prove your worth as a magnificent manager, try your luck as a consultant on the topic of management. My formula for success is simple and straightforward. No textbooks and research journals are used in this seminar. No pen, pad or folder will be provided to you. No home assignments either; have a peaceful sleep after this session. Lend me your ears and mind and see how I change your thought processes to chisel an interesting personality to restore your inner cheer and inspiration. Those with whom you interact will remember you forever, for better or worse, depending on your luck. We begin with an important s ession-- Think that in place of your confused mind, a beautiful garden of roses has emerged with many hues and colors and invigorating fragrance. Think! Nothing is impossible to think! Has it emerged? I can see that in some of you from the expression on your countenance. Make an effort to smile. You are an individual of many moods. Various scriptures have defined nine moods. They are Erotic, Humorous, Pathetic, Terrible, Heroic, Fearful, Odious, Wondrous, and Peaceful. Now, think that you are a performing artist. The wise ones say that this world is a stage, and we are all dancing puppets attached to the strings in the hands of God. Each mood is associated with a particular color. Erotic: Pale Light Green, Humorous: White, Pathetic: Grey, Terrible: Red, Heroic: Pale Orange, Fearful: Black, Odious: Blue, Wondrous: Yellow, Peaceful: White. Some of the top fashion designers and connoisseurs of dress are aware of this weakness of humankind and exploit it to maximize their profits. Now w e come to the core part of the discussion. You need to spend some money to secure your future. Buy nine shirts for gentlemen and tops for ladies, of the colors specified above. Only shirts and /tops not trousers or other types of garments! Now, divide your working hours and allot one hour for each mood. Change your shirt/top after one hour and see the remarkable effect in your interactions. I do not ask you to adopt this system in one go. Hasten slowly. Let your session be restricted to some minutes to begin with. So, you will emerge as a complete individual full of delight, a conglomeration in human form of nine moods of